Lovebirds Live Forever

My great grandmother's funeral was today.

Tears were definitely shed, but

it was anything but a bleak affair.

We know we will see her again soon.

Laughter and smiles were shared by all as we

caught up with aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant

relatives with four more kids than anybody

remembered them having last time, while

feasting from the giant bowl of chocolates

at the welcome table in the mortuary.

We shared funny memories of Grandma

and her delicious peanut butter fudge,

impeccable garden, and secret love for 

CHUCK NORRIS.

(Who knew?!)

Naturally, several people asked me if

I'm getting married anytime soon and what

my plans are for after I graduate.

"You're studying dance...? Huh... And what...?"

Marriage + Performing Aspirations = Awkward Conversation

Not awkward for me--I know what I want.

Just awkward to sit and observe while they try to

assure me it's alright that I'm not married and

have no definite plan after college. 

I'm okay with the way I'm
living my life, thank you.

The most touching part of the day for me

was learning about how my great grandparents met.

Grandma grew up on a ranch in Wyoming,

one of the youngest children in her family.

Grandpa was 8 years older than her. EIGHT YEARS.

He met her once when he went up to Wyoming for work

and was introduced to her family. He thought she

was the cutest little girl. But she really was

just that--a little girl.

So he waited for her to grow up and then went back up to marry her.

Apparently, before he died, he told this to my dad:

"She was the best and I knew it! I went up

to get her because I just had to have her!"

Isn't that just precious?!

Yeah, I cried.

And now they are together again as sweethearts in heaven!

I want my husband to be like my great grandpa.

I want to be as loving a wife as my great grandma.

I want my love to be like theirs.

Sometimes the cutest love stories aren't 

in the movies--they're in your own family.

And now I'm curious about everyone

else's love stories. I'm going to 

start asking around!

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL.

And it's out there.

<3

Bored on Break

I've decided breaks from school are good thing but also bad

because breaks means boredom. And when you are bored you

do things like watch every available episode of Nashville on Hulu and 

create that Pinterest wedding board you said you'd never create 

and spend wayyy too much time on Facebook chat.

And then you write rambling blog posts

with no apparent subject or theme.

For the record, this year's Thanksgiving dinner was the
MOST delicious EVER! Did I feel guilty filling plate after plate with food?
Nope. Did I eat three pieces of pie? Yep. Will I have gained 17 pounds by the
end of December? Probably. I should go back to the gym. But
let's all take a minute and truly appreciate the yumminess we stuffed
in our bellies without feeling guilty. It was so worth it!

Every time I make the 3.5 hour (3 hours 17 minutes is also possible at certain
speeds) drive between my home home and my college home, I always make a new playlist

for the ride. Red licorice and singing are what keep me awake on those long desert
stretches, and SANTA'S PANTS, you are all missing out on my car karaoke! Anyway, it's
fun to look back at these playlists and see what song/artist/genre phases I've been through. There's
quite a variety, but I can't stop laughing because I just realized that without fail Beyoncé's "Irreplaceable" has made it onto EVERY. SINGLE. PLAYLIST. I'm not sure what the connection
is between that song and my soul... The only conclusion I can come to is I guess I just really
like all the dance moves I can do while singing, "To the left, to the left."

In other news, I went to the movies alone today!

Don't cry.

It's something I like to do every now and again.

It makes me feel like a free woman! And also very, very single,

but clearly I am down with that. So, there's me sitting six rows in front

of everyone else and their friends, just scream-laughing at all the

wrong parts like always! Am I the only person

in the world who does this? Please say no.

Oh! Funny roommate story... Tiana decided to make
us quiche for breakfast last Sunday. This involved chopping and
frying onions for most of the morning while the rest of us primped and
got ready for church. Well, I don't know why I bothered putting on mascara
because I was in a fit of onion tears until midday, as were my three roommates.
We walked into church with our eyes bloodshot and streaming and then sobbed
for the entire meeting, occasionally laughing which probably just looked like
more heaving sobs. The bishop and everyone around us must have thought
we had experienced some Sunday morning tragedy or roommate fall
out. It was hysterical. And now we know not to cook with onions
on Sunday mornings. It's not pretty. At all. 

And if any dudes out there ever want to talk about the political
hysterics in the 1970s sitcom All in the Family, I'll be so impressed
I might just kiss you on the spot! NOBODY KNOWS THAT SHOW.
I am so thankful I grew up in a household where Chris Farley SNL skits,
Mr. Bean, All in the Family, and The Far Side comics were introduced
to me at such a young age. This is why I'm funny, folks.

In Denial

I'M NOT SICK, I'M NOT SICK, I'M NOT SICK...

(If only repeating this mantra would make it true!)

I have no time for sickness in my life, especially these next three weeks.

If I had a normal person's life with a normal person's major and a normal person's

daily schedule, a little bug and some aches wouldn't be so bad. I could sit through

lectures and come home in the evenings and rest while watching chick

flicks and sipping soup. Doesn't that sound delightful? 

The exciting thing about being a dance major, however, is

my ENTIRE school schedule and daily routine from sun up 'til way

past sun down is physically demanding, aerobic exercise. Sometimes

for 12 hours straight without any breaks. And I can't very well

dance around with Kleenex stuffed down my leotard all day!

Is it normal to get sick at the beginning of every school year?

What the heck, body, I was counting on you! Does physically

exhausting yourself for weeks on end and not getting

enough sleep have ANYTHING to do with health?

OOPS!

Well, I am ready to battle WHATEVER this is with boxes upon boxes

of Kleenex with aloe, echinacea, vitamin C, bananas, and orange juice. 

And maybe a little more sleep...

Hope you're feeling fit as a fiddle! 

                  

                                                           ...whatever that means.

Lazy Weekend with My Ladies

There's nothing better than a lazy weekend with

your roommates, when they're as awesome as mine. 

Saturday wasn't much of break, considering we woke up early and

spent six hours in a stuffy dance studio at an audition, but it was a great time!

Until that night, when we aggravated our joints even more by partying

it up at the campus paint dance. WORTH IT. Behold, the aftermath...

I definitely went to church Sunday

morning with paint around my ankles.

We had the girliest of girls nights last night, complete with

boy gossip, pop songs, nail polish, some Zac Efron, and glue. 

Tiana and I got a little crafty and transformed average pill

containers into exciting, colorful treasure boxes fit to inspire the

most negligent vitamin taker to take her vitamins, all the while

transforming our living room into a complete and total MESS.

What would my life be like without mod podge and rhinestones?

The thought is too frightening to entertain!

Then Heather and I stayed up chatting until the wee hours of the morning,

(I love me some pillow talk!), which meant we slept in until nearly noon.

I, of course, woke up singing the best hits of Marilyn Monroe, then went

downstairs to make banana pancakes! You know Jack Johnson was on repeat

for a solid hour. By 1:00, we were eating breakfast--the most delicious

breakfast I've ever consumed in this country! I'll do you a solid and share the

tantalizing banana pancake recipe with you. I recommend topping them with

syrup and brown sugar. Consider it a Labor Day gift from yours truly!

Hope you're all enjoying the long weekend as

much as I am! It's back to the books tomorrow!

...or dance studio, in some cases. ;) 

Today in a Nutshell

HAPPY

ONE CLASS

LEOPARD PRINT

NAP TIME

(Such a blessing after such an exhausting week!)

RAIN STORM

DANCE REHEARSAL

(China, here I come!)

NEW TAP SHOES

(I can hardly contain my excitement!)

LEMON CUSTARD

(My FAVE!)

NO SHOWER

RED LIPSTICK

(The quickest cure for a sweat-washed dancer on the run!)

GREEN SHOW PERFORMANCE

MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

(Not mine, but tears were definitely shed!

Congrats to Katelin!)

CHOCOLATE CAKE

SAD

MASSIVE CALORIC CONSUMPTION

(See "lemon custard" and "chocolate cake.")

TRIPPED UP THE STAIRS

(Concrete steps, actually... Skinned my knee,

bruised my arm, whacked my chin, and

bloodied my toe! I am so talented.)

DOWNSTAIRS NEIGHBORS

(Make me feel really cruel/guilty for

tap dancing on our 1970s kitchen tile.)

In a nutshell, life is pretty smashing right now!

And I survived the first week of school.

And look at this fantastic picture:

HAPPY TAPPING, EVERYONE!

Home Sweet Homegirls

FUN FACT: SCHOOL HAS STARTED.

Just in case you weren't aware.

And don't watch the news.

Like a dance major.

:-|

So, I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that this

will be my third year of college. Where does the time go?

I still feel like I'm 13. Maybe it's because I have a crush

on every boy in the whole world right now. FORRIL.

I just need to take a minute to brag about my

amazing, beautiful, talented, hilarious,

sometimes disgusting and repulsive,

but also LOVELY roommates!

I hit the jackpot of roomies this year, my friends.

We're all dancing fools who wear booty shorts and sweats

more often than the average person with standards and morals, shower

way too infrequently for disclosure, and get creative with mangos in

nearly everything we cook. I can honesty say these girls inspire

me each and every day to be better than I am. Avocado face

masks, smoothies in martini glasses, nail parties, and 

more--the estrogen in this place is toxic!

In a good way.

Like the smell of gasoline.

(Here's the part where I admit that I sometimes drip

gasoline on my foot on purpose because I love the smell.)

And the dishes in our sink never pile up because we've

worked out a system where one of us scrubs, another dries,

and a third person spoons ice cream into our mouths.

Now, that's what I call teamwork!

Signs of Fall

1. School starts in a week.

{I'm dying here. I nnnnneed a routine.} 

2. Walmart is selling mellowcreme pumpkins again.

{Kind of like candy corn except 6,000 times better. I'm addicted.}

I'm really excited about both these things. That's all I have to say.

P.S. Ever been ice-blocking? Why didn't anybody
warn me that it was so dangerous?! 

A Man in My Bed

Are you lonely?

Do you find yourself watching reruns of TV shows late at night,

wishing you had someone to snuggle up with? Do you sometimes just want to

be held but don't want the implications of noncommittal cuddling, leading a 

guy on, or welcoming a time/career usurping boyfriend into your life?

I have the solution!

Let me introduce you to a close friend of mine.

His name is Fritz, and we've been together for almost a year now.

Check out those bulging biceps! What a hunk!

Here's how Fritz and I became snuggle buddies...

My best friend and I once came across a Japanese ad for a pillow that looked like this:

And with our crafty, thrifty minds we thought,

"Hey, I bet we could make those ourselves for a lot cheaper!"

So, we took a trip to Walmart and invested in all the necessary supplies:

1 XL long-sleeved male sweater

(an upgrade in softness from the starchy button-down pictured above)

AND

pillow stuffing

(Just cut the sweater in half, stuff it to your comfort, and sew it closed!)

A few stitches later, Fritz and Nigel came to be!

They're the perfect addition to any single college girl's

bedroom, minus a best friend to share clothes with.

We named our identical twin man pillows Fritz and Nigel, carefully

selecting names that didn't correspond with anyone either of

us knew because that would make references to them

and sleeping with them totally awkward.

Fritz sleeps with me every night! I can't get comfortable without him.

He's been a shoulder to cry on, the perfect chick flick date, and he fulfills

the "professional cuddler" aspect of a boyfriend so many girls crave.

Get on it, lonely ladies! Your future plush, huggable,

committed boyfriend is only a few stitches away! 

And just for kicks and giggles, here's a picture of the male equivalent

of the "boyfriend pillow"--the "girlfriend pillow"--we also saw in that ad...

Cases of the Awkwards

Yes, I just made awkward a noun.

Face it. Awkward situations come up a lot.
And by "a lot" I mean all the time.

Hopefully, you learn to embrace them and laugh at the giant
awkward that is your life, but sometimes it's also fun to rant about
your awkwards because somebody else out there must understand...right?

Case #1:

When you're grooving to Whoomp! There It Is on the elliptical at the gym and

somebody decides to hop on the machine right next to you or directly behind you
when there are clearly 14 other machines available in the surrounding area.

Then, rather than contemplating life's deepest questions or how cool it

would be to be in a music video, you find yourself concerned with

how your butt and calves look from behind.

It's gym anti-creep etiquette to assess the situation before

selecting a machine, so as to not unduly infringe on

someone's bubble of hard-pumping oxygen.

(I thought everyone already knew that.)

And sometimes, when you're feeling especially vigorous--like
on days you just ate three large muffins, six bowls of cereal, and leg of lamb
for breakfast--you might choose to add dance arms to your elliptical workout.
And if someone is within your wingspan, they might lose an eyeball and blame you
for it, when actually they shouldn't have hopped on that machine in the first place.

If you're one of "those" people, consider yourself warned.

Case #2:

When an adult or parent of someone you know/happen to be on a date with

asks you what you are studying in school and when you say "dance performance,"

they tilt their head 20 degrees, half-smile and say, "Oh! How...fun!" followed

by the inevitable, "And what do you see yourself doing with that?"

(Come on, performing arts majors, you know this situation all too well.) 

What do I see myself doing with that?
Um.......performing dance.

But half the time you don't even feel like explaining your ambitious,
exciting life goals because you can see in their eyes that that person has already
assumed you have a lower-than-average IQ and probably don't watch the news.

(Not that I'm referencing a specific incident or anything...)

By that time, sharing your ambitions and dreams with that person--gifting
them the knowledge of the goals you've been training nearly your whole life
to attain--doesn't seem the least bit appealing. So you shrug off their ignorance
and silently remind yourself how exciting it will be to prove
all those head-tilting oh-ers wrong in the end.

Case #3:

Stoplights. Really long stoplights. When you're the only one in your car

so you can't strike up a conversation with someone and person in the car next
to you happens to be in the exact same boat. Do you look at them? Do you smile?
Do you inconspicuously check them out? (Guilty.) If you look too long, you'll miss
the light turning green and that's just embarrassing. Plus, then you lose the unspoken
race to the other side of the intersection. Which is way more embarrassing when
you're driving a retired police vehicle with an incredibly zoomy engine and
everybody knows it. What's the best way to handle this situation?

Case #4:

When the doorbell rings and you hate answering the door, so you
peer through the stained glass window to see who it is. And it's the UPS
guy walking back to his truck, having just left a package on your porch.
And then for some unknown reason he turns around and makes
eye contact with you through that tiny diamond shape in the glass
and the jig is up! Not only are you home, but you're also a serious creep.
AWK.

Case #5:

When you say hi to someone you think is looking at you but they are really
saying hi to the person behind you. And everybody else just saw it all go down.

Case #6:

In a word: Facebook.

Seriously, I do that all the time.

The Search is Over

At long last, I've found them!

The PERFECT pair of classic red pumps.

I've been on the red shoe hunt for years, people.

I've tried on pair after pair of red shoes at dozens of stores in dozens of places. 

But I've always known what I wanted, and I wasn't about to settle for anything but the best.

Welp, I was at Target today when suddenly these beauties appeared before me... 

and I knew the search was over! Can't wait to wear them!

I guess this means I'll have to shave.

P.S. Perhaps this will have some strange

parallel to meeting the man of my dreams?

Maybe I should shop at Target more often! 

First Things First

I suppose an introduction is in order.

Hi, I'm Beth.

I'm a perfectionist, a dancer, a sister, a reader, a college

student, a traveler, and the world's biggest fan of The Office.

I love laughing, napping, shopping, baking, obnoxiously bright

colors, kittens, green olives, driving through sprinklers, Chinese food,

the color purple, frogs, mismatched socks, Alfred Hitchcock, shopping,

soft things, the smell of glossy magazine pages, SpongeBob SquarePants,

going to movies all by myself, earrings, ballet, red fingernails, airplanes

and airports, craft stores, cinnamon bears, wearing sweats, singing

loudly in my car, cleaning mirrors, and bubblegum ice cream. 

I can put my feet behind my head, I don't know how to

whistle, and I failed swimming lessons multiple times.

This is my blog about my crazy, wonderful life.